Some Goofy Shit

Got home last night and took a shower. A friend came by and brought some food with him, so I cooked it for him on the stove and then tutored him in French, which he is taking and having trouble with, especially the pronunciation. He asked me if I would tutor him on a regular basis and I said okay. He told me he would pay me in food, which I said was just fine, as I really have nothing at home right now except a few oranges and a bunch of damned MREs that I really don't want to tap into unless I have to (especially after living off them while I was homeless).

Of course, should Bridget come through with what she owes me, as she promised to, then I can afford to get something to take home and cook tonight and I will be able to go down to the Bet-R store on Kahlurah first thing tomorrow and pay my utility bill, which means that by the time I get home tomorrow night, I shall have electricity again (yay). Of course, this all depends upon Bridget doing as she promised she would, which is problematic. I am not holding my breath.

Travis texted me from New Orleans: they are going to watch Endymion tonight. I am at work. I don't get a day off until Thursday. For the past two weeks, I have worked seven days straight, with one day off. I need the money, though, so I'm not complaining. At least I have Sunday off, because I really, really need to do wash, and I would like to get something decent to eat for a change. I've been living off next to nothing recently. I shall be so glad to get my income tax back: that will catch me up. Maybe I can even afford a luxury or two. That's at least two weeks away, though. All I've had to eat today is half a bag of potato chips that someone else didn't want at work. At least I have cat food, but I really need to get litter soon. I hate having to scrape like this.

Travis gave me a couple of these weird catalogues full of goofy shit. They've got all kinds of crap that is of dubious usefulness and value that you can order by mail. One of the weirdest things is the “Snuggie”, this freaky “blanket with sleeves” that they plug on TV, too. I can just imagine someday, that there will be Snuggie fetishists, probably riding Hoverounds. They look like something cult members would wear. Of course, the back of the Snuggie is open, like those awful hospital gowns, which would facilitate rear entry.

They've got the Ultrasonic Pest Repellers, too, which are totally useless. My mother had great faith in them and gave me two for my apartment, years ago. I decided to take one apart, after I'd had it for awhile, and found that roaches had taken up residence in it. There are butt-slimming (and padding) devices, copper and magnetic thingees that miraculously cure joint pain, foot plasters that “draw” toxins out through the soles of your feet while you sleep, foot alignment socks, hair-growing cream, the Miracle Haircutting Umbrella, all manner of personal vibrators and stuff to make your pee-pee hard, listening devices (not intended for eavesdropping), “cell phone” stun guns, plus “collector's editions” of everything from coins to Bowie knives. Most of this junk is absolutely useless to the average human being. Where does this crap come from? Obviously, someone took the time to dream up this junk, and at least some of it must be selling, because they keep sending out these catalogues, and they offer free shipping. It's bizarre.

Granted, there are some products that might actually work, like the Ronco food dehydrator, but why would anyone buy a pound of “wheat” pennies (about 120 coins) for $19.99? Why would you pay $ .17 for a penny? And the digital slide/negative scanner that plugs into your USB port sounds like it could be useful, but does the solar-powered ultrasonic gopher chaser really work? The collapsible hand truck might come in handy, but does anyone really need inflatable vibrating leg and foot massagers, and will the “powerful hydrodynamic (?) magnets” in the “Fuel Optimiser” actually “break apart clusters of fuel molecules” and improve gas mileage?

Crack open one of these catalogues, and it's like entering an alternate universe.


HBCG Stats for the evening: 4 KOCs, 5 Qts, 3 MHs, 9 CHK and 0 C-10s. Ho-hum.