My Economic Stimulus Package

Had fun Friday night: I was actually off on a week-end! Hung out with friends. After I paid rent and utilities I only had a few dollars left until next Thursday. The only food I had in the house was a couple of cups of potato flakes, half a stick of butter, a few leftover components of MREs and two bottles of lager. Between Friday and Monday, all I had to eat was a bowl of (horrible) spaghetti, a bowl of mashed potatoes and some crackers.

When I got ready to leave for work Monday, there was an envelope from the IRS, but it wasn't the brown kind that a check comes in, it was a white one. When I opened it, I discovered that my tax return of $1080, which I was counting on to put me ahead on bills had been turned over to the Department of Education to pay on a student loan that I thought had been paid off long ago. I never received any communications from them about it, they just took it. So, now, I am not getting shit back, and I am fucking broke. That's my Economic Stimulus Package.

Right now, the US Government is in the middle of bailing out every big corporation and all the rich motherfuckers that put us in this mess, to the tune of hundreds of billions of fucking dollars, every bank and lending institution that put greed ahead of sense and faces bankruptcy and every goddamned, ass-licking, haemorrhoid-sucking corporate officer that is responsible for this mess, and paying for their fucking golden parachutes, and I can't even have my motherfucking $1080 so I don't have to live in abject poverty and can maybe, maybe get a hot meal. Is there something wrong with this picture? Huh? WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE MY FUCKING MONEY!!!!!!!!!!

You know, I hate to say it so early in this administration, but I haven't seen or heard anything about stimulating my economy. I don't want to be a nay-sayer, but all the money seems to be going to people who make a hell of a lot more money than I do. There is talk about paying off mortgages and bailing out people so they don't lose their houses, but I can't afford a house. I haven't heard anybody step up and say, "Hey: let's help this poor guy pay his rent!" I haven't heard anything about anybody doing anything to help the underpaid and underemployed to secure a living wage and benefits. You know, I doubt if I will.

I know it's awfully early to start saying things like that, but I remember the Reagan administration with the "trickle-down" theory: all I got was trickled on. So, is all this money slated to go to all those people who have so much more than I do supposed to "stimulate" the economy so that I will make more money and get benefits and not have to go without eating to pay bills? I'm sorry, but I just don't buy it. I'm sorry I didn't foolishly take on a mortgage I couldn't afford or betray the trust of the employees and stockholders of a multi-billion dollar company and utterly destroy it. If I had it to do all over again, maybe I would. Such behaviour is rewarded in our society.

I scraped together some change and got lucky: I won $2 off the Monopoly game at work, which gave me enough money to buy three cheap frozen dinners. I ate one of them last night for dinner and one for lunch today. I ate the last one tonight for diner. I have a little beer left, and then I will have nothing until I get paid, Thursday. Thursday, after I pay what I owe on rent, maybe, just maybe, I can buy some food and have enough to wash clothes on Sunday. Thirty-six hours without food is easy for me. I just don't see why I have to do it, when so many others don't have to. I guess they are just better than I am. I hope they sleep well at night. I won't at least for awhile.

Some Goofy Shit

Got home last night and took a shower. A friend came by and brought some food with him, so I cooked it for him on the stove and then tutored him in French, which he is taking and having trouble with, especially the pronunciation. He asked me if I would tutor him on a regular basis and I said okay. He told me he would pay me in food, which I said was just fine, as I really have nothing at home right now except a few oranges and a bunch of damned MREs that I really don't want to tap into unless I have to (especially after living off them while I was homeless).

Of course, should Bridget come through with what she owes me, as she promised to, then I can afford to get something to take home and cook tonight and I will be able to go down to the Bet-R store on Kahlurah first thing tomorrow and pay my utility bill, which means that by the time I get home tomorrow night, I shall have electricity again (yay). Of course, this all depends upon Bridget doing as she promised she would, which is problematic. I am not holding my breath.

Travis texted me from New Orleans: they are going to watch Endymion tonight. I am at work. I don't get a day off until Thursday. For the past two weeks, I have worked seven days straight, with one day off. I need the money, though, so I'm not complaining. At least I have Sunday off, because I really, really need to do wash, and I would like to get something decent to eat for a change. I've been living off next to nothing recently. I shall be so glad to get my income tax back: that will catch me up. Maybe I can even afford a luxury or two. That's at least two weeks away, though. All I've had to eat today is half a bag of potato chips that someone else didn't want at work. At least I have cat food, but I really need to get litter soon. I hate having to scrape like this.

Travis gave me a couple of these weird catalogues full of goofy shit. They've got all kinds of crap that is of dubious usefulness and value that you can order by mail. One of the weirdest things is the “Snuggie”, this freaky “blanket with sleeves” that they plug on TV, too. I can just imagine someday, that there will be Snuggie fetishists, probably riding Hoverounds. They look like something cult members would wear. Of course, the back of the Snuggie is open, like those awful hospital gowns, which would facilitate rear entry.

They've got the Ultrasonic Pest Repellers, too, which are totally useless. My mother had great faith in them and gave me two for my apartment, years ago. I decided to take one apart, after I'd had it for awhile, and found that roaches had taken up residence in it. There are butt-slimming (and padding) devices, copper and magnetic thingees that miraculously cure joint pain, foot plasters that “draw” toxins out through the soles of your feet while you sleep, foot alignment socks, hair-growing cream, the Miracle Haircutting Umbrella, all manner of personal vibrators and stuff to make your pee-pee hard, listening devices (not intended for eavesdropping), “cell phone” stun guns, plus “collector's editions” of everything from coins to Bowie knives. Most of this junk is absolutely useless to the average human being. Where does this crap come from? Obviously, someone took the time to dream up this junk, and at least some of it must be selling, because they keep sending out these catalogues, and they offer free shipping. It's bizarre.

Granted, there are some products that might actually work, like the Ronco food dehydrator, but why would anyone buy a pound of “wheat” pennies (about 120 coins) for $19.99? Why would you pay $ .17 for a penny? And the digital slide/negative scanner that plugs into your USB port sounds like it could be useful, but does the solar-powered ultrasonic gopher chaser really work? The collapsible hand truck might come in handy, but does anyone really need inflatable vibrating leg and foot massagers, and will the “powerful hydrodynamic (?) magnets” in the “Fuel Optimiser” actually “break apart clusters of fuel molecules” and improve gas mileage?

Crack open one of these catalogues, and it's like entering an alternate universe.


HBCG Stats for the evening: 4 KOCs, 5 Qts, 3 MHs, 9 CHK and 0 C-10s. Ho-hum.

Will Wonders Never Cease?

I was on my way to work the other day and, lo and behold, the city had actually finished repairs on the bike trail bridge: amazingly, they completed it in just over two weeks. This, coupled with the two spots that actually had tarmac slapped on them on Perkins Rd., leads me to believe that I may have been sucked into the Twilight Zone. Of course, another plausible explanation is that I have a "magic blog", and anything I bitch about it is magically fixed. So, I decided to test this.

Okay: I don't have the money for the utility bill, so I am going to bitch about that and see if, magically, something will happen and my utilities won't get cut off before I can pay the bill. We'll see if that one works. Of course, I expect the electricity to be cut off tomorrow: I was kind of shocked to get home tonight and find it still on. If this works, I'll do the economy next. Reality is that I will probably spend a week without power, which means that I will have to get Travis and Fernando to keep my meager frozen goods. I've got some meat I can give them that won't last if the fridge isn't working. Bridget promised to give me the money she owes me next Monday, and that would pay the bill, with money to spare, if she actually does it that, in itself, would be a miracle.

Weather has been ridiculously warm: bike shorts and t-shirt weather. It has rained a lot, but I have been lucky to mostly dodge it. I would estimate that roughly half of the drivers I see on the road are on their cell phones. Many times, they don't pay attention to me or other traffic: I saw a driver on Perkins Rd. the other day barely miss the rear bumper of a pickup because he was on his cell, and a woman pulled out directly in front of me from a parking lot because she was on hers. What I saw today, as I left for work, really blew me away: a guy was coming down State St., the opposite way that I was heading, on a bicycle. The idiot was riding with one hand and texting with the other. No lie. You take your life in your hands every time you ride a bicycle on Baton Rouge streets: this imbecile must have a death wish. What a boob. I was flummoxed.

So, we'll see if. tomorrow night, when I get home, Entergy has miraculously neglected to cut off my power. It's a nice fantasy to drift off to sleep with, but I rather doubt it. Guess it will be MREs and take-away until I can afford to pay the bill. Oh well. I've had it a lt tougher than this.