The Possum Hilton

Ok. So, he other night,, like a lot of nights, I wound up with no place to go. I wandered around for about three hours, until about 12 AM or so, and finally wound up at the church I attend (when I can), St. Alban's Chapel, where I sat in the cool and quiet and prayed and meditated for about 45 minutes. That being done, and no miracles having suddenly occurred, I rode around some more, checking out a few places that looked reasonably safe to crash for the night. Have I mentioned the mosquitoes? Louisiana mosquitoes have been known to carry off pets and small children. Some have reputedly wandered down to Puerto Rico and Mexico where they are referred to as chupacabra. I actually put about 14.5 miles on my bike, just mostly riding around campus.

I finally settled on an abandoned laundry in the little complex that my ex, Travis, and his bf Fernando (who was the one who gave me the idea to start this blog) live. It is under one of the apartments, and is in terrible repair, but there is a big piece of plywood that I could lie down on, and a working outlet that I could use to recharge my laptop. So, I settled in for the night, using some dirty clothes as a pillow. I didn't figure on the number or ferocity of the mosquitoes, which plagued me all night. I got about an hour's sleep. I think I was bitten about two hundred times, which means that I probably now have West Nile virus, Yellow Fever and Malaria.

The piece of plywood that I used for my bed was pretty uncomfortable, but I managed to sleep a little, right before dawn. I was awakened by a lot of noise, like a bus or something, passing overhead. When I looked up, I observed a large, very fat and clumsy possum,crossing a piece of one-by-three, directly over my head. I figured he (or she: I am not really good at sexing marsupials) was probably returning from a night of foraging. I didn't bother it and it didn't bother me, and, a little while later, I got my stuff together, got back on my bike, and left for the day.

When you are homeless, or as I prefer to call it, a "Tempoarily Unhoused Person (TUP), day and night are about the same: there is never anywhere to go. For me, the places I have that I can go to during the day or night are limited. If I am not at work, I have to look for a place to go. The public library is a good place: I can use wireless internet there, they have public rest rooms, and you can always read. I can even check out a couple of DVD's and watch a movie or two. The worst thing is that I can't undertake one of my favorite activities, which is sleeping. It is so very kewl to get have the luxury of going back to your apartment or house, whenever you have a litle time to spare, knock out the lights, crank up the AC, and snooze on the couch or catch a short nap in bed. God, I miss that!

If you have fundage to burn, you can take in a movie, and sleep through it. Pick on that looks really bad, so that you will have no interest whatsoever in it. Sit totally in the back of the audience (matinees are best, during the week), and knock out. Unfortunately, these days, they send bored teenagers in to clear the house between showings. If you wake up in time, you can try ducking: if you are lucky, they won't see you. Sometimes, they don't care. I have sat through three showings of National Treasure 2, and I have only vague recollections of it. It was really cool in there, though, and I assuaed my guilt by consuming a big Coke and a hot dog at prices better suited to Japan.

So, I actually had a little money last night, so, after I got off work, I did something I swore I wouldn't do: I got a hotel room. Not only that, but I actually went to Outback and ate an (albeit inexpensive) steak. I too a shower, washed my clothes, drank a bottle of cheap Chardonnay, and watched Adult Swim. It was fucking paradise! You don't realize, until this happens to you,what you are willing to spend, just to feel like a human being for a few hours. It's like crack to us TUPs. I set the AC to 65, and I didn't feel guilty (not at those prices).

What was worse, after the guilt at spending money I couldn't afford to spend for such fleeting pleasure had just started to set in, I wandered downstairs, in the morning (I had to deliver bread in the AM) to find a lovely breakfast buffet in full swing. Figuring it was like the Continental Breakfast at La Quinta, I loaded up a plate and ate. Imagine my surprise when I was handed a check for $9.79! Beware any food that appears to be free at your better hotels ...

So, I slung bread for 10 hours in Donaldsonville, and got paid $100 cash. got back to Albertson's, where I am an indentured servant,to check my schedule,then headed off to Wal-Mart, where I purchased a sleeping bag and a can of Off. They were out of possum repellent. I figured that I would probably be back at the Possum Hilton, since I really couldn't afford anothe hotel vacation this week.

So, my cheat is, that I rode over to Serrano's, sat on the patio (where I am now, listening to a table full of straight college kids discuss their high school sexual urges), ate a nice (yet frugal) dinner, drank frozen margaritas, listened to a litle live folk music, and blogged, which I am doing now. This is true multislacking.

My next stop is the Possum Hilton. I have a new sleeping bag and a can of generic OFF!, and a computer game I haven't tried yet, and there is an electrical outlet that works. It's a cool night, so it shouldn't be too bad, as long as I am not raped and/or murdered, infected with Ebola, or spattered with possum poo. It is only 11:30: THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG.