First Post

Okay. People who have known me for years are going to say something like: "well, gee, you've been playing around with the internet since it was all BBS and text browsers and you've written dozens of websites and never bothered to even put one up, so what's up now? Now you have a blog and you've never even had a half-assed MySpace or Facebook page, so just what the fuck is going on with you? (or words to that effect)."

Well, honestly, up until now, I really didn't think I had anything that important to say.

So, what changed my mind?

Well, almost two years ago, at the advanced age of 53, I suddenly, due to a series of unfortunate events, found myself utterly and completely homeless, with most of my few remaining possessions either in a storage unit (a small one) or on a backpack on my back. So now, like the Wandering Dutchman, forbidden to touch land but once every ten years, I find myself cycling through the streets of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, aboard my trusty 24-sped Cannondale R-300, equipped with my wireless laptop and cell phone, yet every bit as homeless as the local crack addict, stew bum or wandering schizo, relying on my own wits, dumb luck and the help of a few true friends to stay alive, stay employed and (hopefully) one day reach again that acme of human existance: a crummy little studio apartment to call my own.

Sounds like a great plot for aTV show? Maybe. And if it sounds like one to you, and you have a shitload of money to pile into such an adventurous scheme, I am all for it, so long as the laws concerning plaigarism still hold true. Remember, a happy ending to this all to true story would be to get my miserable butt out of this situation and into one a bit more comfortable: a nice condo or beach house, for instance. Hell, this would be a great adventure series if it wasn't so goddamned monotonous, uncomfortable and dirty, and TV and movies are great for airbrushing that stuff out of the gritty truth. Hell yeah, I'll sell out! Right now, I'd give up my virginity for a night at Motel 6 (okay, maybe not Motel Six, but at least La Quinta or Red Roof Inn), if I had any virginity left.

Right now, I am sitting on the patio at Serrano's, just North of LSU, spending my last ten bucks (until Thursday) sipping happy-hour margaritas, glomming the free wireless, and writing this. I am waiting for my ex and his boyfriend to get home, so I can maybe hang out with them for a while, and hoping another friend might text me and ask me if I want to stay over tonight, so I don't spend tonight (like a lot of nights lately) on the streets. I am also enjoying the scenery. It is a pleasant afternon (unless you have to be outside in it, in which case it bites), and there are lots of realy cute young guys out and about on the streets outside. Yeah, if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm gay. There's another plot twist for you.

Oh, yeah: and don't think I am just a bum. I work. Of course, the job I have doesn't allow me to really save enough to get over the homeless hump (q.v.), and climb up out of the primordial ooze in which I seem to be stickily enmired, but it does get me a margarita and a meal every now and then, and a very occasional hotel room stay, with a real bed with real sheets, TV, air conditioning and (if I'm lucky) wireless internet.

As I blog on (is that usage correct?), I will go into the history of my present circumstances in more detail, complete with entirely deserved vitriol, as well as my personal (and probably verbose) observations on the Meaning of Life and other such crap, replete with household (or anhousehold) tips, survival strategies and witty homilies, as I see fit to include them.

Suffice it to say that I am currently on my third (very excellent) margarita, plugged up next to the electric fountain, overlooking scenic Highland Road, and it is a quarter past three. I am still hoping that I mightwind up on somebody's floor or couch tonight, but, if not, I have spent the afternoon scoping out a few secluded spots where I might be able to crash undisturbed for few hours, before I have to b at work tomorrow, at noon. One must always have a contingency plan. Damn, this margarita is good! At least I got to fill up on chips, in case I don't have enough to eat tomorrow.

I guess that's about it for this first blog. I am going to try and cover as much stuff in as much detail as I can while this shit is going on. I hope you don't mind if I hope this is the shortest blog in history, because, believe me, I ain't in this shit for the fun!